I always feel so small and helpless when nature strikes like this.  Usually we humans go around believing we control so much of our world.  Then, wham!  ...and you realize you're as vulnerable as a moth.  The fear is similar to when I was a child; real deep-seeded panic that overwhelms most all thought and sanity.

Facts:
*  More tornadoes hit Texas than any other state.
*  Dallas is the most populous city in Tornado Alley, which sees 1,000 tornadoes a year.
*  Devastating outbreaks have occurred within 100-200 miles in nearly all directions — most within the last 20 years and several within the last 5 years.
*  Dallas-Fort Worth has experienced more than 130 tornadoes since 1950.

...I'm moving back to Connecticut where I can at least see the hurricanes coming!

EA held a contest over all of Russia, and then had the finalists duke it out at the convention.  Dmitriy came in 4th!  The contest was based on EA trivia and games, by the way.

Another fantastic trip to Mother Russia!  I just returned from an 8-day vacation in Moscow.

This time, all time was spent enjoying the city life.  Not to worry, no "romance" in this report, ...so please to continue reading, my comrades ;)

(I love Moscow)

It's also strange, the feeling I have a day or two before ending a vacation.  In the same instance I feel sad that I'm leaving and it's all over, but I also look forward to returning home where everything is familiar and exactly as I like it.

Although this was mostly a vacation for me, the trip was planned around this year's KRI at the Cosmos Hotel.  This way I could see all my friends from that part of the world.  The Cosmos was booked this time, so I had to stay at a different hotel.  This time I stayed at the Izmailovo Hotel, arranged and paid for by Toly.

Extra special thanks to Toly, Lyuba, Yury, and Varvara!  I had a great time!

I wanted to spend this trip doing more of the normal things available in Moscow.  They made sure I did.  I had some of the best food ever, all Russian-style, and each night we did something special in the city.

The Izmailovo and the surrounding complexes were built for the 1980 Olympics.  As we drove to the hotel, I thought it was strange that here I was staying at the site of the 1980 Olympics, ...the Olympics that the USA and other countries boycotted because Russia was in Afghanistan.  Look who's in Afghanistan now.

The hotel is nice, and very inexpensive compared to typical Moscow prices.  Well, the room was nice, however, the services in the lobby have room for improvement.  I was told that the hotel, which is a bit far from the city center, still runs under the old, Soviet style of hospitality, ...there is none.

In fact, at times I even felt intentionally fucked with.  In the Soviet Era everything was supported by the government.  There was no capitalistic competition and it's drive to keep the customer satisfied.  It was quite an experience at times at the Izmailovo Hotel.

Here's an example - Cunt, the Concierge.  That is her name, at least that's what I saw on her badge ;)  The sign at her station read "Service Bureau", a very Soviet Era scent was immediately noticed.

The following anecdote is the only negative thing I experienced during the entire 8 days.  Actually, it is quite amusing now, but at the time I was not laughing.  Also, I don't mean to start off this update with a negative account, I'm only following chronological order.

Keep in mind that I completely understand it's my fault that I don't speak much Russian yet.  I'm trying, but it takes time.  I can say most of the common greetings and phrases of politeness, including the most important, ..."I'm sorry, I don't speak Russian.  Do you speak English?".

On the other hand, there are five separate buildings at the Izmailovo and the one I was in is dedicated to tourists.  Maybe dedicated is the wrong word ;)  I would have at least expected the Concierge to be a little helpful, but my first meeting with this woman was nothing near help.

It was the second morning and I was still incredibly jet lagged.  I needed to meet Toly at the Cosmos Hotel.  The Cosmos is a well-known hotel.  It was even used in the popular movie "Day Watch".  Anyhow, I went to the Concierge and said "Good morning.  How are you?  My name is Richard.  I'm sorry, I don't speak Russian.  Do you speak English?", ...all in Russian.  Although my Russian speech is very slow and stumbling, I've been told that I have a very natural accent.   She replied "Yes, I speak a little.".  Little did I know, the trap was set. 

"May I get a  taxi to the Cosmos Hotel?", I asked.
  -   "Taxi?", she replied.
"Yes, please, a taxi to the Cosmos Hotel."
  -   "What is Cosmos?"
"The Cosmos Hotel.  Very big with tourists and conventions.  It's about half way from here to the City Center."
  -   "City Center?  Is this dance club, this Cosmos?"
"No, it's a big hotel."
  -   "I don't know this Cosmos?  What is room number, please?"

I'm starting to feel frustration build in my voice, but I hold it back.  There are long pauses before everything she says, as she looks at me with a forced smile and blank eyes.  I'm wondering if the trouble is that the Cosmos is a competitor or something, and she doesn't want to help me get there.

  -   "Do you have address?"
"No, I'm sorry, I don't."
  -   "I need address for taxi."
"I don't have the address, I'm sorry.  Can you call information, or ask someone here?"
  -   "Information?  No one here knows of this place, I am sure."

Now there's a longer pause as she starts to write something on a piece of paper.  Is she now going to simply ignore me?  I'm left completely perplexed and feeling more than a little helpless, ...and pissed because I know there can't be this much confusion!

  -   "Here is number of information.  Please to call.  Get address for this Cosmos."
"I'm sorry, I don't have a cell phone.  May I use that phone?"
  -   "Please use phone in room.  It is free."

Another pause as she stared blankly into my eyes and not acknowledging the phone on the desk in front of her.  Later I would see many other Russian-speaking guests reaching over the counter to use this phone while she was there.

I'm starting to feel that this is an intentional fucking.  I get the feeling she's enjoying this as her smile is more of a smirk.  My guess?  This is a hobby for her, a little game, watching the helpless tourists squirm under her power and control.

  -   "Please. Phone in room.  It is free."

I wasn't going to let her see me go all the way back up to my room to use the phone.  I started to search the lobby for some of the guards that pace around the place.  I found one that understood what I needed.  He went to a house phone and called the number that Cunt the Concierge gave me.  She's watching all this happen right in front of her, by the way.  He dialed the number, handed me the phone, and what was on the other end?  ...a recording in fucking Russian!  She did want to see me go to my room and dial this fucking useless number.  Back to the bitch I went.

"I tried this number and all I got was a recording, in Russian, which I did not understand.  Can you please call this number yourself and get the address for the Cosmos Hotel?"
  -   "Kosmos?  ...ohhhh, Kosmos!"
"Yes, please, the Cosmos Hotel."

Although I wanted so badly to reach over the counter and grab her skinny, little neck and squeeze it until her weaseling, little eyes bulged out, ...I maintained my poise.  Bare in mind that the English word "Cosmos" and the Russian word "Kosmos" are the very same word and sound 99.99% the same.  What a fucking nasty bitch this cunt was!  She picked up the phone and called the taxi.

  -   "Taxi will be here in one hour, twenty minutes.  Please to wait here for taxi."
"Thank you very much."

I knew the taxi wouldn't take an hour and twenty minutes.  She was still playing, but I still didn't give her any extra satisfaction by showing anything but politeness, acceptance, and gratitude.

  -   "Please, 110R for service charge, and 800R for taxi charge."

Service charge?  I gave her the 110R (~$4.50), and inside my head I'm praying very hard that she use it to buy lunch the next day, ...and fucking choke to death on the meal, ...slowly!  Maybe, even, I could be there to see it happen and help her dial 911 ;)

The taxi, by the way, only took 10 minutes to get there.

The next day I would need help again.  Fortunately this was a different Concierge.  This one was very, very nice and she did the best to help me.  I wanted to reach over the counter and hug this one.

Cunt the Concierge would return again, but I think she gave in after discovering she had little affect on me (at least on the exterior) and her game was void.  She did continue with the one-hour-for-taxi ploy, even though the taxis rarely took longer than 10 minutes to get there.

The food service was also very "helpful".  Try to get breakfast at the Izmailovo, ...go ahead!  There was a room where you could get breakfast, but you had to be on a special list.  You couldn't simply pay for the meal directly.  The best I could do was a piece of cold salmon on flabby toast. Fortunately, I only needed breakfast once.   I was told by someone else that when he received a dirty fork and asked for a clean one, the waiter brought back a spoon ;)

Again, nice hotel, I had a very good stay, but the downstairs could use some catering lessons.

The first night was spent at Yury's Penthouse.  Great time with Yury, Serge, Dmitri, and Maxim.  It was Zakuska and Vodochka Night (Russian hors d'oeuvres and vodka) !

It was a great evening, indeed, but I paid for it in the morning.  It was the only night I would get so polluted.  Maxim spent much of the night in the bathroom, soon to be known as Maxim's Office, and Dmitri passed out on the couch at midnight.  I think we did well, lads!

Yury gave me two paintings he had bought so that I could remember Russia, both Summer and Winter.

He and his family also gave me Russian tea, an Easter Egg with special holder (tradition for the holiday), and a beautiful lacquered box filled with candy.

They also gave me a great Easter Cake, but I ate that in the hotel room.  I couldn't resist ;)

These may not seem like important pictures to you, but they are to me.  These are pictures of the first time I ventured out into the streets of Moscow alone.  Not a big deal, I know, but then again it is scary to roam a place where very few speak your language and everything is written in unfamiliar letters, let alone words.

I also had no cell phone, my usual tether to Toly and safety.

I even stopped into a local produkti (convenience store) and bought something to drink.  I was so proud ;)

It's very confusing at times.  Some words are Russian and written in Cyrillic characters.  Some words are Russian but written in Latin characters.  Is that a "C" or an "S"?  Is that an "H" or an "N", a "Y" or a "U"?  Other words are English but in Cyrillic letters, while others are English words in Latin letters.  My brain was complete mush after a week of this!

I still find it really strange that there are no definite and indefinite articles ('the', 'a') in Russian.  These are implied in the sentence or context, but it still seems weird to me.

I now have 20+ bottles of different brands and types of vodka.  I don't drink these gifts.  I save them as a special collection.

Toly and I went to a vodka bar next to (game)land.  THIS is what I want in my house!

My collection only grows by 3-5 bottles each year...

...and it's just not fair!  Something so precious to me can be bought at the common food store any time of day in Moscow!

There is a Russian fairytale about the Snow Maiden named Snegurochka.  I believe she and I are great friends!  She comes to Moscow when I do.  This sudden cold spell was particularly strange this year as Moscow had one of its warmest winters ever.

We went to a bar known for its flavored vodka.  I prefer regular, pure, unchilled vodka.  The vodka here was really good, though.  My favorite was the cranberry.  There was a horseradish vodka that nearly removed my throat, and a delicately delicious celery-flavored vodka.

Thanks for all the great restaurant ideas, Lyuba!

As you can see on the table, vodka travels in herds.  There is no such thing as one or two vodkas!

The Russians say that drinking vodka without beer is like throwing your money into the wind (to deny the added buzz from mixing the two), but that is NOT my beer in front of me!  Pivo (beer) is for peasants!

The taxi ride home was interesting.  Toly would always get me a cab back to the hotel each night.  He'd tell the driver that I don't speak Russian and then would pay the fare.  Thanks again, droog, for taking such good care of me ;)

The taxi rides were always very quiet.  This provided time for reading signs.  This night, though, it was not completely quiet.

Half way to the hotel, there was a traffic jam.  It was 2am and traffic this time of night is usually diminished.  After 15 minutes of crawling to where the blockage was, we found it was a truck doing something weird in the middle of the road.  Not sure what it was doing, it wasn't disabled or anything, it just kept pulling back and forth, perpendicular to the road and blocking all four lanes.  It was like Frogger watching the cars wait for their opening on either end.

As we passed the truck, I automatically uttered "Pizdiets!".  This word is very much like our word "Fuck!".  It can mean good or bad, and it is used often when things get crazy.

As soon as I said this, the taxi driver went into a 5-minute verbal tirade, yelling and waving his hands at that truck.  I recognized some of the words.  They were nasty words, indeed ;)

I only replied "Tochna!" (exactly) when he was done.  He smiled.

The STALKER guys had a cool set-up.  This would be the first of many stops and many cordial drinks.

Booth babes and booth bars, I would enjoy these as much as possible the first day, as duties would deny on the next two days.

Serge brought me these two ceramic medallions made by his wife.  They are displayed in my house, Serge, and thanks!

I've done my four years in the U.S. Navy.

Now, I think, I should do four years serving my second home with a stint in the Russian Army ;)

Women in uniforms, ...with guns!

Had supper at the Norenko's again, such a treat!  The food was fantastic.  I thought my stomach would burst as Babushka made sure I ate everything, and then she fed me more!

I also got my painting from Gregori!  I've been waiting to get this home for so long.

Finally got to pull a Russian!  If you admire something, it is often given to you.  Last time I walked away with half of their household.  This time, I was wearing a new watch, an ultra-thin Skagen.  Gregori commented on the thinness of the watch while we ate.  Gregori now wears the watch ;)

Gregori and Maria are deaf, so they use sign language most of the time.  Much of sign language is pantomime, so it is easier to understand them than if they simply spoke Russian.  Sometimes we would get stuck, though, as we chatted in the kitchen.  Babushka would jump in and try to clarify, and she often did.  She would explain what was being said, in Russian, and then I would understand.  Twenty minutes later I suddenly realized this, that she was explaining in Russian, and wondered why that made things better.  I think maybe it was the look in her face, like, you will not eat if you do not understand kind of look!  Babushkas run the family and have special powers ;)

Igor, your medal is now proudly displayed in my house ;)

Alex brought me this bottle of Ukrainian vodka.  Ukrainian vodka is as good (maybe better;) as Russian.

Lyuba and Varvara arranged last-minute tickets to the Bolshoi!  Best seats in the house, too, ...front row on the first balcony!  No need for opera glasses, we were so close!

We saw Don Quixote.  Although I'm not a big ballet fan, this was spectacular.  It's also cool to be able to say I've been to the Bolshoi.

Thanks so much, Lyuba and Varvara!

I know I harp, but once again I'm reminded how prudish we are over here about nudity.  KRI is open for all ages, and there were more than a few kids running around the show.  Big controversy over naked breasts?  ...no, of course not!

It's not that this beauty isn't admired with googling eyes and gaping mouths, it's just not seen as bad.

She was posing at the Turgor booth directly across from the (game)land booth.  They also had a blank canvas with sections for visiting dignitaries to paint anything they wanted.  The game Turgor is based on painting rather than guns.  Cool game, from what I saw.

I was invited to paint a section.  Can you guess which section is mine?  I found myself somehow inspired to paint a still an 'active' life ;)

Thanks Web3nner for the picture!

Although it can't be proven, it's most certain that I listened to his submarine patrolling the ocean many times ;)

We had supper at Shinok, a Ukrainian restaurant, ...delicious!

Related to dining with Moscovites, I noticed during this trip that they eat very quickly, but paradoxically, the check comes very slowly.

I also noticed that Muscovites drive like their personalities.  There is no sense of personal space.  The cars are incredibly close to each other, and even though there are lanes painting on the roads, these are ignored.  A four-lane road can easily accommodate six cars with their driving.  It's like watching blood corpuscles racing through a thin vein, so jammed yet never actually touching.  It really is amazing to watch this in action.  The very best driving I saw was Lyuba's ;)

He was a soldier in World War II and fought in Stalingrad, Kursk, and on to Germany.  I'm sure he has incredible stories.  He survived the war without a scratch.  Then two weeks after it ended, he got in a car accident and was banged up pretty badly, ...pizdiets!

Coffee, blinis, ...and some guy probably called Boris.  He was not happy to have his picture taken ;)

The regular coffee in Moscow is premium, although it's called Americansky (as opposed to espresso, cappuccino, etc.).  I always felt awkward asking for this coffee because our coffee here is like rusty tap water.

I forget the name of the restaurant, but it was very near the Kremlin and Red Square, and it was styled to look like a Soviet Era Polit Bureau.  Even the staff was dressed like bureau workers.

The older I get, the less I enjoy strip clubs.  I mean, I still enjoy them, but it's like being very hungry and having someone wave a plate of food in your face.  No eating, just teasing.  Actually, you could 'eat' at this place, but it was very expensive.

The women were very beautiful, of course, very!  Toly insisted that I get at least one private lap dance, as his treat.  Dances are more "exotic" in Moscow than most places I've been.  Again, there is little sense of breeching personal space ;)  It was difficult to return to my seat after this dance.  Walking with three legs isn't easy!

I always keep a small notepad and pen in my back pocket to write things down that I might forget.  When I came back from the lap dance, I wanted to jot down some notes about the evening.  I reached into my pocket, and the pen that I've been carrying for months unharmed had broken into two pieces during lap dance ;)

It was "hard" sitting on the plane for 18 hours the next day, too, as I kept remembering the Golden Girls from the night before ;)

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