I just spent a great two weeks with my very best friends, Toly and Yury.  The first week was spent in Los Angeles during E3, and the second right here in Dallas.  I invited them to my house for a week after E3 and I did my best to repay them for my trip to Moscow earlier this year.  I tried, but who could compete with Moscow!

First, the week (almost) in Los Angeles, ...nothing to say about E3 itself.  Massive chaos and confusion, ...the worst I've ever seen in the nine years I've attended.  It's just utter madness now, with crowds so thick you can't see anything nor walk faster than a snail's pace, ...a dead snail's pace.  Poorly ventilated and filled with the stank of multitudes of sweating enthusiasts.  Noise beyond any Who concert with vendors trying to out-blast their neighbors' audio, ...E3 truly sucks!  ...unless you're there to meet friends and party ;)

I arrived at the hotel in Los Angeles at about 19.00 (7pm) and immediately grabbed a taxi to Toly’s and Yury’s hotel in Downey.  There were seven other Russians with them, some I had met in Moscow, others were new to me.  We walked to Ralph's grocery store and bought food and beer, and then partied in their hotel room, ...simple and sweet.

I can't explain why, but I always have fun with the Russians.  They are just nice to be around, and there’s something undeniably cool about the them, although I can't really explain why exactly.  If you ever get the chance to sit in a room full of Russians, eating food, drinking, and telling stories (the best of which are at the expense of someone in the room as they are being made fun of), ...then you will understand!

Even cooler, and maybe this is just me looking for such things, is that I always experience strange coincidences when I'm with them.  I'll mention a few as I go.

  Dmitry has the added "The Russian" title for two reasons.  First, there were more than one Dmitrys on this venture...

Second, and most importantly, he was The Russian because he reminded me of the ultimate Russian in so many ways.  If you looked in the dictionary under the word "Russian", there would be a picture of Dmitry The Russian ;)

Dmitry The Russian is from Saint Petersburg, which I understand is the jewel of the Motherland, and I plan to visit him there soon!

Constantine is one of the funniest guys I've ever met, and something tells me he aims to rule the world some day, like an evil scientist would aim to do so.  I'm glad I'm his friend!

I believe he has already discovered the secret of aging.  Although he could easily pass for a young teenager, he is actually well into his twenties.  Keep an ear open for the name Constantine on those scientific shows you watch!

This is the  (game)land booth in Kensia Hall.  It was cool to see them in their own booth this year!  I have been very close to  (game)land for eight years now, and watching them grow so large and assume so much power gives me a sense of great satisfaction...

...and me being an honored and dedicated member of  (game)land, this should not be a surprise ;)

I took Toly, Yury, Dmitry, and Dmitry The Russian (see the confusion?) to EA for a tour in the morning.

Jumping crickets!  ...EA always has THE best facilities!  Forget those blog stories about slavery and crunch modes (mainly because this is the case at ALL game developers).  If you want to work at a great company, seek Ye EA!

They're well-read at EA, too!  ...notice the selection of magazines on their lobby table!

Note, ...Dmitry The Russian is not in the pictures above?  ...this is because as soon as we got to EA he hopped out of the car, with his camera, and headed for the beach ;)

Mark and Marianna have an older son, Random, that looks more like his mother.  Their daughter, however, is a spitting image of her father, ...which is weird because Dochtermann is German for "daughter man".

After the party, the Russians and I headed for the glorious American super stores to search for vulgar capitalistic trappings.

When I say "the Russians and I", and I say "headed", let me explain that this means nine of us were packed into a small Ford Expedition meant to seat maybe five comfortably...

...thank you so much Constantine, Dmitry, Dmitry, Peter, Daniil, Valery, Yury, and Toly for letting me join you!  Cramming another body in that truck was not fun.  I love you guys ;)

We hit a few stores, like Target, and then had supper at the Pomodoro.

Our last night in Los Angeles had us heading back to stores searching for PSPs, games, and whatever Objects Americana that they could not easily find back home.

Dmitry The Russian bought some Mexican hats, and for some reason, sitting in the rear of the truck,  I felt like I was back in Texas ;)

We then went to Mulholland Drive to see the view.

We ended up back at the Downey Hotel, and I was glad.

Dmitry The Russian and I drank quite a bit.  Actually, everyone did.  It was six or seven hours after supper, and we did not get anything to eat in the hotel.  I would later regret an empty stomach.

I decided to say fuck the taxi and just crash there.  Russian friends will always make sure you are safe and sound, so taking the extra bed warmly accepted.

He had crashed next to me on the bed.  Yury had left the party before Toly the night before, locked their room's door, and then didn't hear Toly knocking to get in.  So Toly had to come back to Dmitry The Russian's room to sleep.  It was a good party!

Before I left, Toly told me that they all went out on the balcony and sang Russian songs for an hour at the top of their lungs.  This I didn't hear, and I was sad because I missed some real authentic Russian culture ;)

E3 was over, thank god!  Each year gets worse and worse.  Toly, Yury, and I flew into Dallas at about 19.00 (7pm).

I took the long way home from the airport and drove by the city.  I'm really starting to like Dallas, btw.

We stopped by the grocery store and I think they were impressed with its size, I know I always am ;)

Well, it was 100+ degrees (38+ Celsius) here in Dallas during the week of their visit.  Almost broke a few records, it was so hot.

I think they enjoyed it, too ;)

I didn't know this until they were here, but having guests come visit has a great side effect.

I did more stuff in the five days Toly and Yury were in Dallas than I have done in the entire ten years I’ve lived here, ...no exaggeration!

We spent the first night at my house.  After the flight, and all the chaos of E3 and the partying in Los Angeles, I figured this was best.

We bought plenty of American zakuska (home-baked pizza, roasted chicken, chips and dip, ...the works) at the grocery store.  I have two refrigerators, one of which is dedicated exclusively to beer and it was filled with the brews of just about every country in the world, ...from Japan to Mexico to the Czech Republic.

I taught them the use of the deadly blow gun, as well as various BB guns and, of course, my 16-foot bull whip.  We never did get the throwing knives out, which now that I think about it, may have been a good thing after all ;)

I figured the very first thing I should show Toly and Yury, while in America, ...wait, I mean Texas, ...is the enormous stores that we have here.  I live here and I can't believe how big our stores are these days.

We spent most of Sunday shopping.  Of course, we had lunch at McDonald's.  Even though they have McDonald's in Russia, and McDonald's prides itself on worldwide consistency, ...it's just not the same thing!

We went to Frye's, an electronics store, and Toly bought six PSPs and games.  These are a bit cheaper here in the States and Frye's has no one-per-customer-limit bullshit.

What was funny, hilarious actually, was when we got to the check out cashier.  Toly was paying in cash!  ...$3,000+, and with his accent there soon was a half dozen store employees watching the transaction.  I suspect they thought it was some elaborate money washing scheme involving hand-helds and drugs or something ;)

I was a bit nervous about cooking, as I haven't commanded a barbeque in over a decade.  Turned out it wasn't the cooking that would embarrass me but just simply lighting the fire!

We went inside to give the fire time to turn to coals.

The picture to the left is the smart ass, bastard Toly playing with one of my slot machines while we were waiting for the fire to get going ;)

We ate and partied well in living room.

As much as I love dogs, I have come very close to shooting this thing on more than one occasion.

Anyways, the entire week that Toly and Yury were here, the dog maybe barked once or twice.

It was a great time!  Yury and I never could figure out what Toly was doing behind the couch, but from the laughing and giggling, I believe it was all good!  He would occasionally pop his head up to make sure we were okay.

I learned more Russian that night, ...real Russian.  I now know that to be “covered up” means to be stoned.  Good to know if you want to be cool in Moscow, and I want to be cool in Moscow ;)

I wish so badly that we had taped the conversations that night.  Both Toly and Yury speak very good English, better than mine as I would discover later in the week.

Toly's English is perfect, and Yury is not far behind.  However, they have this incredible ability to step backwards and speak like a Russian that has had only a few classes in English.  I was amazed, and in pain from laughing so much.

Here is an example, which was much better in person, and under the influence of vodka and herb, of course...

..."You speak English very well!" is translated into "You can not even imagine yourself, how powerful is your English speaking!".  Well, trust me, the conversation was hilarious!

We visited id Software in the morning.

I was only looking for a nice lunch with Tim Willits and some of the crew, but we actually got a full tour of the office.  This is a very special treat not offered to many!

I'm telling you,  Russians have power, beyond simple fire-starting, and people seem to know this ;)

The best part about the visit, though, was chatting with Donna.

Donna has been at id since the earliest of days, and I believe she is the main reason for their success, ...and you couldn't meet a nicer person!

She's a born-and-bred Texan and she has a thick Texas accent.  No problem for me, of course, as I love the Texan accent.  It completely baffled Toly and Yury, though.  Sure, they know English (you can not even imagine yourself), but not Texican!  ... ;)

I could see their eyes cross a little and their heads cock back and forth trying to squeeze the words into their brain's muddled translating software.

We went to lunch at Hooter's across the street.  It's now a cultural imperative, when visiting America, to also visit Hooter's,  ...maybe even more so than McDonald's and Wal-Mart.

They both needed to take an online English test for work.  Toly went first and although he asked for my help, I suspected I made his score lower than if he had flown solo.  I suspected this, and then came the confirmation.  Yury went next, and I helped him.  He scored 68%.  Not good, so he had to take the test again.  This time, Toly came to help and Yury's second score was like 85%.  Okay, so I didn't get learned no good in school.

I took them to Black Eyed Pea's for dinner and ordered chicken fried steak, another cultural imperative when visiting southern America...

...mmm! ...white gravy!

When you have good friends like Toly and Yury, it is important to know what they like.  I have discovered their two favorites (following Hooter's waitresses, of course)...

...Twinkies for Toly and beef jerky for Yury.  They can expect these for Christmas presents in the coming years ;) 

We went to 3D Realms in the morning (that's 2pm in their time zone;)...

...and actually got to see Duke!

Nobody sees Duke!  I haven't seen Duke in over three years! ...but the Russians? ...they get to see Duke.

We went to Burger Island, a local burger joint.  They have THE best burgers ever, no shit!  Remember the Pulp Fiction burger?  ...this is Burger Island.

Next we went to Target Master, a local shooting range.

As far as I was concerned, this was absolutely one of the activities we had to do, although I wasn't sure what Toly and Yury would think...

However, until you have held that small-but-weighty piece of metal in your hand and pulled the trigger and felt the intense sensation of power, you should not judge us so quickly.  Shooting guns is up there with sex and motorcycles!

Before Toly and Yury came to visit me, I compiled a list of things to do, and this list included shooting hand guns.  I was aware of the opinion others have of crazy gun-loving Americans, so I specifically asked them if this was something they wanted to do while here, ...I even offered a preemptive apology in case I offended them with the offer.

Their reply?  ...the very first thing they wanted on the top of the list?  ...go shoot guns ;)

I was very impressed with their aiming!  ...both at 25 yards and 50 yards (25m and 50m).

We were shooting with a Colt 45 and Colt 357 (magnum load, of course), too, ...not easily handled guns!

Tonight, we were too exhausted to worry about food and such...

...so I ordered gourmet pizza from a great, non-franchised local joint.  We also  practiced nighttime ninja blow gun hunting on the back porch.

The third tour of the Dallas Gaming Mecca... ...Ensemble Studios!

Paul Jaquays treated us to a full tour of the facility.  I am always impressed when I go there.

Right before we took off, I asked Toly if he had ever been on a helicopter before.  His reply?  ...“Only in SiN, with a mounted machine gun on the side.”  Bless his heart ;)

It was a small helicopter, so you really felt the sensation of being up in the air.  I was amazed when we approached the Dallas/Fort Worth Airport, the major airport of the area and one of the biggest hubs in the country, and flew right through the middle of it.

You could clearly see, and wave at, the flight controllers in the tower.

I can't carry a fricken Bic lighter on a plane anymore, but I can zoom right down the middle of the airport in a helicopter.  Sometimes I think this TSA crap is all hype and image.

We returned home in the late afternoon and Yury "practiced" his kungfu with Toly.  Toly is a brave man!

No supper, for some reason,  and we went directly to the latest Star Wars movie at the big theater down the street.

Sadness starts to set in, as we all realize the vacation is almost over ;(

Good friends are good to have...

...but it is bad when they have to leave.  It is a double-edged sword and sometimes I feel as though the sorrow out weighs the joy.  It's like the 10-15 years of joy you get from a pet is far out-weighed by the crushing day you have to bring it to the vetenarian to put it down.  Perhaps this is one of the reasons I like to be alone.

Sorry, I strayed there, ...we went to Ritual Entertainment, the Grand Finale of the Gaming Community's Grand Tour.  I also took them to a local souvenir store.  I always criticize these stores with comments like "How do they stay in business?" and "Who buys that crap?".  Then I realize their value when I see out-of-towners shopping there.  I do the same thing when I'm somewhere new and foreign, too.

We had supper at Sonny Bryan’s BBQ, one of the best in the country!

Dealy Plaza, the place where John F. Kennedy was assassinated, is a mere three blocks from our office.  Of course, this is always a priority item on the agenda of anyone's visit to the Ritual office.

We went to Tini’s Bar and met with Robert Atkins and Adrian Carmack...

Toly once again, proved his power and that of the Russians.  The tables at Tini's are small, seating only four or five people.  Toly, Yury, and I got there later than the others, who were already crammed into one table.  We had to take a second table of our own next to theirs.  As you can see in the picture, the high-backed seats excluded us from the others.

I felt a little bad for Toly and Yury.  This was their last night, and they should be with the locals having fun.  I asked Toly if we should go stand by the other table, but he shook his head and said, “No, they will come to us.”.

I immediately thought "Ya, sure, okay, ...my foreign naive friend.".  This is America, they already squatted at that table, ...no way are they moving any time soon, except for maybe the bathroom.

Then, within fifteen minutes?  ...everyone was over at our table.  It wasn't that the others wanted to be gracious, Rob was the only one that knew these were guys from Moscow.  Everyone just sort of gravitated to our table, just like Toly said they would.  It was weird.

After a few drinks (I was having orange juice because I was driving, btw!) we went to Campini’s Italian Restaurant.

Again, great food!

Not a happy day, ...we've had so much fun, and I hate to see these guys leave.  Already my scheming brain is making plans for a trip to Russia for Christmas and New Years.

Way back on Sunday, when we went to Frye's, Toly bought a CD by the group Crossfade.  He obviously liked the CD as he played it more than a few times each day, usually while Yury was working on the computer.  Yury poked fun that he was going to kill my ears with such repeats.  I enjoyed it, though.  Not a bad CD and now it has been deeply embossed into my brain.  Whenever I hear it from now on, it will remind of the Great Dallas Vacation. Music is so memory provoking!

One last weirdness thing, ...I had bought some Mexican jumping beans before Toly and Yury came to visit, before going to E3.  I placed them near my computer thinking they'd get a kick out of them.  When we got here, though, the beans never stirred.  I figured they had died or something while I was at E3.  Friday night, after my comrades had left?  ...click, click, click, the beans are now popping around again.  I'm not making this shit up, I swear.

Like I mentioned earlier, the weather was insanely hot while they were here, then it immediately changed back to normal.

The rain was very fitting for me.  I love rain, and it always makes me very happy, ...but it also can be sad.  This is how I felt, both happy and sad ;)

Hits: